None of the pretty words on your “do better” page mean anything to someone from “the ditch.” That’s where I and my husband of 30 some years have come from and for most there is no way out.
My husband quit smoking, years later I quit smoking. We walked away from our smoking, drinking, drugging family, the Drug Culture & That World and have not looked back since. We have no one but ourselves but there are no middle-of-the-night phone calls for someone in jail or stuck w/a flat out on the interstate. No niece or nephew has been beaten to a pulp or been put on the missing persons list. We told our family why we were leaving and that they were welcome to come along but no one “took the call.”
We sat by the sides of my husband’s parents who both died too early from tobacco and alcohol related illnesses. They died terrible deaths. We did our best to watch over my elderly parents in their last years but they had put my alcoholic brothers on the legal papers. Their endings were filled w/neglect and we were powerless to intervene. But we did the “right thing.”
We said when we left “that world” behind; we would do the right thing until we could no longer do the right thing and that motto has served us well. I am in my 10th year of starting my own business while hubbie is rounding the bend towards retirement. We have volunteered in the community. We have tried to make friends but all the persons who care for themselves and others have all the family and friends they need.
We haven’t found a church yet where we might find friendship. We just don’t fit anywhere now but we try to be content with our health and growing sense of accomplishment in this personal quest, this Herculean step out of the Dysfunctional World. The Co-Dependent World. The place where everyone owes the other guy something. A place where lots of secrets are kept. We have lots of scars but we don’t stumble anymore. The word success neither of us knew until we made the choice to leave that life.
I haven’t seen this truth about the state of our world anywhere: That we are two worlds. The sober world and the stoned. Is that too harsh for your tender ears?
The sober world forms clubs like “Just Say No” and all their sober kids run the programs while all the stoned kids are out back smoking up a storm. The sober world creates drug prevention programs but they can’t include the parents because than the kid who needs help will disappear. There are no psychiatrists on TV talking about drugs. When talk of poverty and the inner city begins rarely is addiction mentioned.
And so round and round we go.
And so by practicing tough love, which has been erased from the lexicon, we two have created value where there was nothing but sorrow and chaos. We are earning successes everyday in spite of what we were dealt.
No one will hear our story though. That there are two worlds and not a bridge between them has been the secret of the ages from time immemorial.
Melissa Whitehead
Driedbydesign.com
Education and Happiness: Mortimer Adler
Block quote: Michael Hendrix
Block quote: Eleanor Roosevelt
Snowboarding – be your best!
The most inspiring thing about snowboarding. … Mountains are like a church.
Your story: Steve Smith
I am a retired business executive who previously founded a national insurance company and mortgage lending firm. I retired several years ago and relocated from Columbus, OH, where I lived most of my life and moved to Clermont, FL, so my wife could care for my in-laws. (Clermont is 30 miles NW of Orlando)
Upon moving to this area in 2006, I discovered that there were no homeless shelters, only one food pantry, no life and job skill training, nor any counseling agencies to serve the many who I felt would soon be losing their job and home. Thus, I asked 11 other caring community leaders in 2007 to form a 501(c)3 nonprofit to serve this population. Since that time we have had some success, having received funding to acquire four transitional homes, two thrift stores and accompanying food pantries. The city also donated an old, rundown vacant building that we renovated through donations, and turned the building into a learning and development center. Our mission is that we don’t pass out fish, but rather we teach people to fish. All of our staff (currently 27) are required to read the book, “When helping hurts,” which parallels the position that giving free use of items such as a bed and a meal is fostering entitlements.
We provide assistance with strings attached: (Recipients) have to attend eight weeks of structured training classes and secure work within three months (Because my wife serves on the local hospital board and chamber of commerce, we have the connections for them to secure employment).
Besides presiding over our nonprofit, I serve on the Mid-Florida Homeless Coalition and Lake County Housing Board. Recently, the governor of Florida appointed me to the Council of Homelessness, where I serve as chairman of the Awareness Committee.
Unfortunately, Florida currently lacks 643,000 affordable housing units ( per the 2013 Shimberg Housing Report from the University of Florida). I am actively advocating our state legislators to appropriate the $300 million funds they received last year from document stamp revenue, Legislators developed this fund years ago, with revenue to be held in a Housing Trust Fund. Unfortunately, the last six years, the money has been swept out of this fund and directed towards other pet projects of the legislators, rather than allocating for new affordable housing units.
Because my county has the fastest growing student homeless population ( over 3,000) we are planning to build 100+ affordable rental units to help serve these families. We are seeking $12 million in grant funds to construct the apartments. Any ideas are greatly appreciated.
Learn more here.
YouTube: Beats by Dre: The game before the game
Arthur Brooks: The secret to happiness
Facebook picture: Three simple rules in life
Block quote: Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Block quote: Benjamin Disraeli
YouTube: Why Do We Fall? (Movie motivational excerpts)
Doar: What works in helping the poor?
Which anti-poverty policies actually work?
Before Robert Doar became a scholar who studies public policy, he was a practitioner who implemented it. Under Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Doar oversaw the nation’s largest social services agency.
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Read more from Robert Doar. Robert Doar is a bold advocate for antipoverty policy that actually works. In “Where’s the Outrage?,” he takes economists to task for their complacency in the face of an ongoing human tragedy. In “The Path to Responsibility Can Start With a Broom and a Paycheck,” he shares on-the-ground stories from one of New York City’s most successful job-training outfits. And in “10 Welfare Reform Lessons,” Doar lists the top ten principles he gleaned from his successful career in government.
Hear what other new voices are saying. Leading voices in Washington, D.C. are talking about opportunity in new and counter-intuitive ways. Michael Strain argues that struggling Americans deserve “more than the minimum wage,”and offers better policy ideas in its place. Arthur Brooks challenges everyone, whatever line of work we’re in, to ask how our job can be a helping profession. And in this popular YouTube playlist, Brooks asks Bill Gates all the big questions about the future of fighting poverty.
Roll up your sleeves. Public policy is very important. But when is the last time you personally gave of yourself to others? Every single one of us can probably afford to dedicate a little more of our time, our talents, or our treasure to the service of people who need our help. Whether through charitable donations or regular volunteering, we have the power to change lives today.
